


Against their better judgement

by sarcasmdressedinjeans



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Balthazar is supportive, Cas deserves better, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel is Not a Morning Person, Castiel is cute, Charlie Ships It, Charlie also has a plan, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean is a Softie, Dean is amazing, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Nerdy Tumblr Cas, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sam Ships It, Sam Winchester Has a Plan, Sam is not subtle, Slow Burn, and so is Sam, but not too much, cas has feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasmdressedinjeans/pseuds/sarcasmdressedinjeans
Summary: Castiel Novak is an awkward and shy person who just wants to write his Johnlock fanfics in peace. However his best friends and roommates: Sam and Charlie have other plans. When Sam's brother Dean comes to stay, Cas is drawn to his outgoing confident personality. Dean and Cas start to develop romantic feelings for each other, despite their best efforts to avoid it. However Charlie and Sam give it their best shot at encouraging their inevitable relationship, which we all knew would happen eventually.





	1. Sam is an encouraging moose

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at writing a Destiel AU fanfiction, so please be kind!
> 
> Unfortunately I don't own Dean or Cas or any of the characters from the show, however all ideas and mistakes are my own.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I have writing it.

_He reached up sweeping a stray curl out of his ~~alluring~~ enchanting eyes, he watched as Sherlock ran his tongue over his ~~sexy~~ chapped pink lips- _

Castiel sighed in exasperation, furiously backspacing. He knew that line was shit, but he just couldn’t get it to be right. How on earth was he meant show the whole of Tumblr how madly in love Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson were and that Johnlock was canon, if he couldn’t even get the correct amount of sexual tension into his pathetic one-shot?

He groaned, resting his head onto the table beside his crappy, second hand HP laptop in defeat. He was disturbed from his minute-long depression, when an awkward, moose-of-a-man flopped into the chair opposite him, shooting him an amused look.

“Writers block, or just talentless? Scientists can’t tell!” Sam laughed at his quip, clearly thinking he was hilarious.

Cas simply stared at the fool who was supposed to be his best friend.

“Don’t even start! I’ve been rewriting this chapter for at least two hours. The next season of Sherlock will come out before I finish this fic.”

Sam swatted at Castiel’s head. “Don’t be so dramatic, Cas! We all know that the Sherlock’s Christmas special will never make an appearance, never mind a new season. If anyone should be complaining, it’s me. I’ve been working a seven-hour shift at the convenience store and my legs are killing me.”

Cas smiled sarcastically, before taking a sip of his coffee which was now cold and undrinkable. He already knew that Sam hated his part time job, he had complained about it enough that the whole state probably knew. Cas didn’t know why he even bothered. After all, once Sam was a lawyer he could pay off his college fees in no time. As for himself, he earned enough from his job at the Ancient History Museum to pay his rent for the apartment they shared together with Charlie (their computer nerd friend, who wrote fanfiction which, dare he say it, rivalled his own works.)

“Stop complaining, nobody is forcing you to work there”

Sam sighed before sending a quizzical look Castiel’s way.

“How long have you even been sitting here for?” Cas slowly glanced around the small café he had been lurking in. He noted how at least 4 of the customers who came in after him had finished their drinks and left, and now completely new faces occupied their seats.

“Probably about 3 and a half hours” he replied looking down at his wristwatch.

“C’mon Man! This isn’t good. You can’t just lose track of time like this. You never leave the apartment, and when you, do it’s only to work or hide out in here!” Sam shook his head.

Once again, Cas simply stared at him. To be honest he wasn’t even aware that this was how he spent the majority of his time. He had a social life. Sort of. Okay hardly. But who needed friends when he had all of his readers. And the Johnlock community. Not to mention the Merthur and Hannigram communities too. Okay not the coolest life he’d admit, but it suited him perfectly fine.

Sam slammed his hands down onto the table, drawing unwanted attention Castiel’s way.

“No! You are coming with me back home, where we are going to get ready and have a night out with Charlie, Balthazar and Kevin. I’m not taking no for an answer.” He announced, before standing and marching over to the door.

Cas silently cursed Sam and glared at the empty seat opposite him.

“Well, get a move on then!”

He stood up unenthusiastically, and grabbed his laptop and satchel from the table.

“Stupid social moose!” he grumbled quietly to himself and followed his so called best friend out of the café door.

~~~~~~~~~

Castiel grimaced as the burning taste of a vodka shot travelled down his throat.

Okay so maybe he was wrong. This was not such a bad night out. Although Sam’s ideas never usually went this well.

Loud, electronic music blasted around the dismal nightclub and the smell of sweat, smoke and alcohol invaded his senses.

Charlie, Kevin and himself had decided that they would challenge each other to a drinking contest of who could handle the most shots. Charlie was convinced that she would win, as had Kevin, who knew he was the worst drinker but decided to do it anyway and risk alcohol poisoning. They were both wrong. Obviously Castiel himself was better, no question. Cas was only tipsy, whereas the other two were completely smashed.

“I could do this allll nightt!” Charlie slurred.

“Anotherr shot, boys?”

“Hells yeah! Casss, you in?” Kevin replied, swaying slightly on his drunken foolish feet.

Castiel laughed to himself. “I don’t think so. You two carry on” he decided.

Kevin nodded in a patronizing way. He glanced at Charlie and smirked. “It’s as I said. Cas can’t handle his liquor.”

“Well, neither can you, Kev. You’re goin’ downnn!”

Cas laughed again, tossing back one last shot before dizzily wandering off to find the missing members of their party.

Castiel soon spotted Sam leaning against the club wall, aggressively making out with a petite blonde. He snorted at the scene in front of him and turned around to see Balthazar also making out with a blonde, but this time a male one.

Cas blinked wondering if his drink had been spiked, but then Balthy cracked one eye open and winked at him, then untangled himself from the man and sauntered over to Cas.

“Alright Cassy?” he said throwing his arms around Cas’ shoulders.

“Yeahh” he spoke slowly, the world spinning under his slightly drunken haze.

“I’m gonna make my way home. Tell the others.”

“Fine, have fun. I’m off to get someee!” He smirked eyeing an attractive auburn guy who was smiling suggestively.

Castiel smiled awkwardly before unsteadily walking out of the night club, breathing in the fresh air. It cleared his mind slightly and he somehow managed to stumble home, up the stairs and into the apartment.

He was quite proud of himself for making it home unharmed and all in one piece, so proud in fact that he failed to remember that there was a step down from the kitchen into the living room. His clumsy drunken self, stumbled ungracefully, and he reached out for something to hold onto, otherwise he would fall face first onto the wooden floor. Unfortunately, his hands found the fruit bowl that sat on the work top, so all he succeeded in doing was bringing that also to the ground. The bowl shattered and apples were sent in every direction.

“Ah, fuck!” Cas whispered, scrambling to his feet, only to step on a stray apple, and was once again face down on the floor.

“Ow…” he groaned, feeling like a first-class idiot.

He was suddenly startled by a deep laugh, coming from the general sofa direction. Cas’ head shot over sharply, noticing that the lamp was on and a stranger sat watching him. A handsome, green eyed, chiselled jawed stranger, that is.


	2. In which Cas embarasses himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again all mistakes and plotlines are my own.
> 
> Please excuse any non-American words or phrases, as I am not actually an American. I am English, so sorry!

Castiel stared back at the god-like man sat on his sofa. He had way too many thoughts swirling around his head. Should he scream, attack the man with violence, attack the man with affection (he was handsome after all) or put his head in his hands out of embarrassment at his mortifying fail? Instead he was just unable to function and lost all ability to speak.

“I… you…tripped…leave…what?” he ended up saying.

“Wow. Well, that was really something. Tell me, do you always come in like that or was it just for my entertainment?” the stranger said, raising his eyebrows with a smirk.

Cas blinked. “what?” he repeated. “Man, I’m too drunk for this” he mumbled to himself.

Cas got up from the floor and managed to avoid the escaped apples that surrounded him. He just about regained his composure, and glared into the green eyes, focused on him.

“What the fuck are you doing in my apartment? If you’re planning to kill me then it probably won’t be satisfying. At least I won’t have to work tomorrow…” Cas said slowly.

This time it was the mysterious man’s turn to blink in confusion. He was silent for a few seconds before breaking out into a deep laugh which shook his whole body.

“Kill you? God no. Oh man, that was golden. You really are a character. Sam made you out to be a boring, loser.”

“Sam?” Cas was too confused.

On one hand, he was slightly offended by Sam’s apparent description of him. Well he wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t have to say that to another person. Especially not an attractive one. Or was this a prank to scare Cas to death, or was Sam gay and hadn’t come out yet and this was his secret boyfriend. Ugh, fanfiction was taking over his mind, of course Sam was straight, he was kissing that girl. Unless she was a beard. Maybe he-

“Oh, I should probably introduce myself.” Sam’s potential boyfriend interrupted his thoughts.

“Um yes?”

“I’m Dean Winchester, Sam’s older brother.”

“Brother? Oh…right…yes... Castiel…I… I’m Cas” he fumbled over his words, heat filling his cheeks at his failure of speech. Again.

“…Yeah. Sam told me he had two roommates, and I assumed that Cas was you.” Dean explained.

“Ah right. You assumed correctly. Um, make yourself at home. Sam will be back later, I guess.”

Dean laughed quietly to himself.

“Cute.” He muttered under his breath.

The heat once again returned to Cas’ cheeks and he inhaled sharply.

“I’m going to bed. Shout if you need me. I probably won’t hear you though.” He whispered the last part to himself.

Dean watched Cas as he walked towards the corridor, where their rooms were. He almost fell over his own feet, but manged to stop himself and entered his bedroom. He threw himself onto his bed in embarrassment. Why was he always so awkward? Now handsome, attractive Dean probably thought he was a right weird one.

Cas sighed deeply, cringing at himself before dozing off into a drunk induced sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

In the living room, however, Dean was smiling to himself. Sam’s roommate was cute. Shy he’d admit, but damn he was hot. Sam had made him out to be a Sad, hermit who never left the apartment. Dean was expecting a goofy, snivelling mess to walk through the door.

He couldn’t help but be attracted to the tall man that walked (or stumbled) through the front door. He saw the bright blue eyes, dark brown sex hair and fit, athletic build. He was instantly entranced. Then Cas had gracelessly tumbled to the ground, taking the fruit bowl with him. And as if that wasn’t enough, he had then climbed to his feet before falling again. Dean was captivated. When their eyes met and Cas fumbled over his words and came out with that comical sentence, he couldn’t help it. Castiel had completely won him over.

Dean couldn’t believe it. He was supposed to be the one people fawned over. The heartbreaker. A charmer. Instead of Castiel being completely taken in by Dean’s good looks, it was the other way around. He was smitten.

Dean sighed. Was it in exasperation with himself or admiration for Cas? He certainly couldn’t tell.

He was disrupted from his thoughts by Sam and Charlie entering the apartment. They were holding on to each other, singing an incredibly out of tune version of bohemian rhapsody. Dean laughed.

“Deeeean!” Charlie yelled, spotting the blonde on their sofa.

Sam beamed at his brother and Charlie attached herself like a koala around Dean’s middle.

“Hiya Sammy, Charlie.”

“Why are you here?”

“You invited me to stay for the week remember?”

“oh yeah! Have you seen Casss? He came home earlier, lightweight…” Sam slurred.

“Yep. He was really something.” Dean replied dreamily.

Sam and Charlie exchanged an excited glance, and then winked dramatically at each other.

“Oh? Is he noww?” Charlie smirked.

Dean rolled his eyes.

“You can take the sofa, we’re gonna hit the hay.” Sam announced.

“Night Deeeano…” Charlie mumbled, unlatching herself from dean to wander down the corridor.

Dean rolled his eyes again and looked at Sam.

Sam bopped dean on the nose drunkenly and stumbled over to the door.

“Nighttt, jerk.”

“Night, Bitch.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Cas opened his eyes slowly and groaned. His head thumped loudly and the light hurt his eyes. He cursed his drunk self for not shutting his curtains. He was still wearing last night clothes, he hadn’t even taken off his shoes.

He debated whether to get up or not. He decided to face the world, and gingerly rolled out of bed. He threw on some sweatpants and a white, long sleeved shirt. He also grabbed a pair of sunglasses to guard his sore eyes. He wasn’t even going to try and tame his uncooperative hair, it was always messy anyhow.

Creeping into the kitchen he saw Charlie in a similar state. She was sitting at the table, head in hands and a cup of steaming coffee in front of her. She looked up and saw Cas.

“Well, shit. You look even worse than I do. I’m sure you left early as well?” she croaked at him.

“I told you. He’s getting old. Can’t handle nights out.” Sam piped up, looking completely fine and fresh faced.

Charlie and Cas glanced at each other. They both fixed hard glares at Sam.

“How the hell do you look good? We both look like we’ve been in hell all night! I was supposed to be the best drinker.” Cas whispered. It hurt to talk to loud. God, he was too old.

“I thought I was the best drinker?” Charlie said, looking distraught.

“You both were wrong then, obviously” Sam said smugly.

Charlie and Cas glared at Sam even more harshly.

“Maybe if we ignore him, he will go away” Cas whispered hopefully.

“I doubt it.” A loud voice assaulted Cas’ ears.

The hungover pair flinched at the voice. Cas turned around and met the familiar green eyes. Oh. So, his failure last night wasn’t an alcohol introduced hallucination. Cas blushed furiously, Sam’s brother had seen him last night, Cas had embarrassed himself. Great.

He wished he had stayed in bed.


	3. Sam has a brilliant plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all ready for shipper!Sam. Let me know if there are any un-American terms that need changing.
> 
> As always I don't own the characters, and all mistakes and plotlines are my own.

Cas’ mouth hung open in shock, quickly transforming into horror at the memory of meeting Dean last night.

“Morning.” Sam greeted his brother with a smile.

“Morning, did you lot sleep well?”

“Fine!” Sam and Charlie replied in unison.

“…yeah.” Cas whispered struggling to find his voice.

One reason because, well, he was hungover and the other was because of that tall, handsome thing standing in the doorway.

Cas quickly gained his composure, he should be professional, god dammnit!

“I think I should properly introduce myself. I’m Castiel, or Cas for short.” He held out his hand.

“Dean Winchester, little Sammy’s big brother.”

Sam rolled his eyes as Dean accepted the hand shake.

“I hope I didn’t give you a bad first impression last night?” Cas inquired politely, silently hoping that the attractive blonde didn’t think he was a complete idiot. He definitely wouldn’t be the first…

Sam and Charlie’s eyes quickly turned on Cas lighting up with amusement.

“What did he do? Come on tell us!” they interrupted in curiosity and excitement.

Dean laughed to himself, as Cas flushed red in embarrassment. “He came in thinking he was being stealthy and smooth, but instead tripped down the kitchen step bringing himself and a bowl of fruit to the ground!”

There was a pause before Cas’ so called best-friends collapsed into laughter. Dean smirked amused before also dissolving into giggles with them. Cas tried to look irritated, but even he could see the funny side at his major fuck up. Before long all four of them were clutching their sides unable to speak for several minutes.

“Oh my god! Classic Cas!”

“Priceless!”

“Alright, alright, calm down. Its not that funny. You would have done the same.” Cas tried to defend himself.

“Don’t try it! You’re the clumsiest in this apartment. Only last week you walked into the bookshelf.” Charlie piped up.

Cas sighed, there was no point arguing. Charlie and Sam always did this. He secretly thought they enjoyed being bitchy together. He glanced up at Dean, only to see that he was smiling fondly at his brother. Cas really hoped that Dean didn’t think he was a moron. He could do without another good-looking man thinking he was odd.

“How long will you be staying for Dean?” Cas inquired.

“Only a couple more days, if that’s okay?” Dean replied, fixing his green eyes on Castiel.

“Of course! Are you sure you’ll be alright on the sofa? You can have my room if you like?” he offered, thinking nothing of it.

Dean refused, as Sam and Charlie smirked at each other mischievously. Charlie raised an eyebrow, and Sam winked back.

Dean glanced at Cas, and he just pulled a confused face in response.

Dean really couldn’t take his eyes off Cas. The man had looked at him with beautiful, blue eyes and had appeared with even messier hair. He knew he wasn’t gay, he was just gay for Cas? He was so lost in his self-evaluation that he almost didn’t notice Cas grimace and stifle a groan. He looked up.

“Alright?”

Cas sighed. “Yeah, I’m just going to head back to bed. I don’t feel too good.”

Sam threw a packet of pain killers at him.

“Take two of these, should sort you out for later.”

“Later?”

“Yeah I’m cooking a meal for us lot. Come back down at 8.”

Charlie sighed dramatically, “God help us.”

They all laughed as Cas wandered back to the sanctuary of his room.

~~~~~~~~~

Cas just about died. Dean had been staring at him for at least ten minutes. Okay, maybe two at the most, but still… He just couldn’t keep his cool whilst those eyes were watching his every move. His hands became clammy, heart beating rapidly as his chest became tight. A low groan escaped him, Cas knew he had to make a quick getaway.

He would have been happy chatting with Dean, working through his hangover. But no. Sam and Charlie had put their minds to being a problem. Cas knew that once they had set their mind on something, not even the devil himself could stop them. Oh yes, Cas hadn’t missed their winks and secret smiles. Try as they might, Sam was about as subtle as a naked man running across a football pitch. Charlie was only slightly better.

“Alright?” Dean asked him sweetly.

Cas sighed, he really would have liked to stay with Dean. “Yeah, I’m just going to head back to bed. I don’t feel too good.” He lied.

Sam threw a packet of pain killers at him.

“Take two of these, should sort you out for later.”

“Later?” Oh no, what was he planning?

He smiled evilly, Cas immediately vowed to move out as soon as possible.

“Yeah I’m cooking a meal for us lot. Come back down at 8.”

Charlie sighed dramatically, “God help us.”

Cas snorted as he walked out the kitchen back to his room, and dived back under the sanctuary the covers provided him. The bed was his one true love, and sleep quickly took him away from his stressful life.

~~~~~~~~~

To say that Sam was looking forward to tonight’s dinner was an understatement. He couldn’t wait.

He had sent Dean to the store to get some ingredients for his matchmaking meal. Or that was the plan at least. As soon as he had moved in with Cas, Sam knew. His brother would be perfect for Castiel. He could see it now. Family gatherings with his brother and best friend in love, together. Whilst he could sit back smiling at his proudest achievement. As soon as Charlie moved in, he knew she would share his faultless imagine. As soon as she had met Dean, Charlie was on board. They spent ages fantasizing about how to get the blonde and brunette to meet, fully invested in their otp.

Charlie was lounging around at the table, whilst he stood at the counter reading through his recipe. He couldn’t afford to fuck up this opportunity.

“I couldn’t have predicted better meeting for them!” Charlie mused.

Sam smirked. “For once I’m glad Cas is so awkward. Dean is completely smitten. I’ve never seen him act that way towards another person. He is usually super confident and flirty, now he’s just lost for words whenever he looks at Cas!” He could barely contain his excitement.

Charlie smiled widely.” It’s just too good to be true! Cas doesn’t know what to do with himself. I think he is slightly confused. You know how suspicious and wary he gets.”

She let out a gleeful laugh. “They are too cute!”

Sam grinned. “Hopefully our little plan will be a push in the right direction.”

“They’ll be together by Christmas!”

“I bet you a new MacBook, it will be thanksgiving.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. “You’re on!”

Sam knew now that he had to win. This dinner had to be a success. He was fairly sure he would have a lovely gift ready for him in 3 months. Cas couldn’t even keep his calm for a fifteen-minute conversation. Oh yes. Sam had noticed the sly escape and ill-fabricated excuse.

A sudden, alarming thought popped into his head. Surely it was a lie for Cas to get away from his over whelming feelings for dean, and not an actual illness. God no, he prayed. Although he was pretty smashed last night. Sam made a mental note to check on Cas in a couple of hours. If he was genuinely sick, Sam would just drug him with cold-meds anyway. Nothing was going to stop his plan tonight from going magnificently.


	4. Dean realises his feelings for Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this Chapter. I have had a lot of college work and university applications to do, I'll try to update more often.  
> I hope you enjoy this part, but it's really only a filler chapter.  
> As usual all mistakes and ideas are my own, but the Characters belong to the show. Enjoy!

Buried under a patchwork duvet, and two thermal blankets, Cas was happy avoiding all responsibilities and awkward situations just fine, wasting time by reading about his favourite otp.

After he had thrown himself into his safe cocoon-of-a-bed, Cas had run through his mind all the possible ways he had ruined his one shot with the blonde. 1, he was socially awkward and had just stared like a creep. 2, Dean now probably thought he had the plague, not to mention Sam chucking drugs at him to make things ten times worse. 3, well he didn’t really have a 3 yet, but 1 and 2 were good enough for him.

Cas allowed his thoughts to wander away from his smutty Johnlock fanfic to the dinner Sam had planned in just under an hour. He had no doubt that the two snakes that he called roommates, had planned something evil or just plain sly. They never offered to cook any day. Even for thanksgiving. Sam surprisingly had checked on him, a short while after his flustered departure from the kitchen. Of course, Cas had reassured Sam it was just the mother of all hangovers and he was then left alone to sleep it off. Which leads us nicely to his current position.

Groaning slightly, he Kicked off the covers and walked into his on-suite bathroom to try and at least look presentable for this special, more like random meal. Cas stared forlornly at his reflection, sighing slightly at the sight of his dishevelled hair. He splashed warm water onto his face to give the illusion of an awake complexion, turned to go and remove his lounge wear and dress into something more presentable.

~~~~~~~~~

Wrestling with two large bags full of groceries, Dean’s morning was going downhill fast.

First of all, he was confused about his feelings for the brunette that lived with his brother, and now Sam had him buying a million billion ingredients for a meal? Sam never cooked. Dean didn’t even think he could cook. “I’ve never even seen him hold a wooden spoon before!” he grumbled to himself, pushing the apartment door open.

“There.” He announced, dropping the bags onto the table in front of a guilty looking Charlie, and an angsty looking Sam. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “What have you two been talking about?

“Nothing!”

Yep definitely guilty, Dean thought. “Well, I’m going to go and have a shower then if that’s alright with you?” He queried.

Sam nodded. “Shoot. And Cas’ door is open so if you were planning on having a peek, don’t bother. He’s buried himself under a shit ton of blankets, healing up after last night!”

Charlie groaned.” Don’t remind me… I feel like crap. You’re cooking alone Sammy” She rolled off her chair and snake crawled her way out of the kitchen, disappearing into the dark corridor.

The brothers laughed fondly, and Dean ruffled Sam’s hair making him exclaim in annoyance.

Dean sauntered off to the shower chuckling at himself. He saw Charlie’s feet vanishing into one of the bedrooms, and he noted that the one opposite had the door open and no light coming from it. He realised that that must be Cas’ room, and couldn’t resist taking a little look. Sam was right, which wasn’t often, but all he could see of Castiel was a mound of covers, a tuft of dark tousled hair and the soft glow of a phone or laptop screen.

Dean smiled to himself. It was cute. Cas was cute. He immediately cringed and scolded himself for the sissy thoughts that just ran though his mind. Shaking his head in disgust, Dean walked into the bathroom, taking his duffel bag in with him. He pealed the sweaty shirt off, the back of his mind wondering when he had become this hot. Stripping off completely, he walked into the shower, pulling the door shut behind him.

A stream of warm water rained down on him, making tiny goose bumps of warmth erupt over his clear, tanned skin. A shiver of pleasure ran through his body, and he sighed in satisfaction. Dean ran his fingers through his short hair, and began to rub the shampoo into his scalp. He couldn’t help but picture a certain blue eyed someone taking over, massaging their hands over his head, gently tugging on his hair, snaking down to his arms and sliding over his muscl-. Woah.

Dean’s eyes snapped open in surprise, and he flushed deeply, heat flooding his core. Oh god, he just couldn’t get Cas out of his mind. He knew he wasn’t stupid, and had recognised that he liked Castiel. He just didn’t realise that he had fallen in…love with Cas?

Dean frowned. He’d only just met the guy! It had always taken at least a couple of months before he fallen for a girl. Maybe it was different with men. Dean didn’t know. Questions built up in his mind. Had Cas realised? Were Sam and Charlie being shifty because they knew? Did Cas feel the same? Wait, of course he did.

The puzzle pieces connected in his mind, Cas was flustered because of Dean. He had left the kitchen because of Dean. He had been unable to keep his composure earlier because of Dean. Butterflies danced in his stomach, and happiness replaced the heat in his torso.

Cas felt the same. A smile worked its way onto dean’s lips. Tonight could be a success after all.


	5. The dinner is reasonably succesful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the next chapter! Sorry its a bit shorter than usual and I'm not sure if some terms I have used exist in America so let me know if something confuses anyone. I hope you enjoy, and constructive criticism is welcomed.
> 
> As always, I don't own the characters, but all mistakes and plotlines are from my own mind.

“Bon Appetit!” Sam announced grinning proudly, and set a plate down in front of Dean.

Charlie and Cas glanced at each other smirking, Dean just rolled his eyes.

“C’mon Sammy, its literally just pasta! Your acting like you’re a Michelin star chef! This is just basic.”

Sam gasped, “This is my best dish!”

“It takes 1 hour, tops. You took 3…”

“Yeah well… be grateful you fucking dick. You’re under my roof!”

“Its actually my flat.” Cas chimed in helpfully.

Sam scowled. “No one asked you Cas!”

“Shut up!” Charlie shouted, elbowing Sam. “Let’s just eat the damn pasta.”

“…Fine.” The boys mumbled, picking up their forks.

Charlie rolled her eyes. She put up a lot with these boys. When She first met Sam, he had come bumbling into the computer store leaving destruction in his wake, clutching a dripping wet laptop. She had sighed believing the man to be an idiotic moose. He’d begged her to fix the laptop as it had all of his law work on there. When they got talking, and she realised he was actually a highly intelligent moose. She left work that day having sold a new laptop, made a new friend and been offered a new place to live, all in the space of 1 hour. 

The next day, Sam had dragged a reluctant and slightly pissed off man into the store, she had raised one eyebrow in question and waited for an explanation. She then had left work that day having gained yet another friend (who shared her love of fanfiction and Johnlock), enjoyed an intelligent conversation, and had been instructed to move out of her shoe-box apartment and into a new one. Not a bad two days at the office, she had thought. The next day she had been fired, but still…  
She had met Dean after being dragged by Sam to a car garage, in order to fix the battered old truck, she shared with him and Cas. She had been impressed by his humour and also surprisingly nerdy personality, the polar opposite of Sam. It had been a busy week.

Charlie learned that Sam was a kind, loveable, law student who dragged people around a lot, Cas was an awkward, sassy nerd who was perfect for Dean, who was a confident, funny guy. She loved her life right now.

She was disturbed from her thoughts by a constant tapping on her arm. She glanced up at Sam who was nodding over at Dean and Cas. Her eyes widened in excitement, and a small gasp escaped her lips.

Castiel was chatting away to Dean about Doctor who and how tragic Amy and Rory’s storyline was. Dean was leaning back in his chair, absent mindedly twirling his fork in the pasta whilst he was staring at Cas. His green eyes were fixed on the man in front of him and a soft smile graced his features. All tension had drained from his body and he looked completely relaxed and comfortable with a stranger he had known for all of 2 days.

Charlie turned and looked Sam directly in the eyes. He was smiling fondly, one hand on his chest, the other on her arm. She held back a small squeal, this was exactly what she had wanted and by the looks of it, Sam was also pleased. 

“… totally unfair that that was how they had to leave the show. The doctor was so sad, and it wasn’t fair!” Cas finished passionately and turned to look at Dean.

Dean instantly sat up a bit more and a soft flush dusted his cheeks. “Uh… yeah I know exactly what you mean.”  
Cas grinned brightly, his eyes crinkling at the edges. ”I’m glad you have the same view as me! Also, don’t you think it was weird how…”

Sam rolled his eyes at Cas’ constant fandom rambling. “Cute. C’mon let’s leave them to it. I think Kevin said him and Balthazar were at the bar so we can go and meet them.”

Charlie nodded rising from her seat. 

The two of them quietly grabbed their coats and left the apartment, Cas’ enthusiastic voice slowly fading as they waked down the stairs.


	6. So close, yet so far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter, as a late Christmas present, Its a tiny bit longer as I feel like I had a lot I wanted to fit in to move the story a long, so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> As always all mistakes and plotlines are my own, and I don't own the characters (unless you don't count my version of Cas and Dean, as their true selves, but who knows!)

They immediately recognised the two forms of their friends sitting on some bar stools, Kevin was rolling his eyes at Balthazar, who was eyeing up the bar tender eagerly. 

“I’d like another drink please, if you’ve got a minute to spare for little old me.” Balthazar said in a flirtatious tone.

Kevin groaned loudly putting is face in his hands in response to his friend’s antics, silently wondering why he had even agreed to come along.  
Balthazar glanced at him quickly, then returned to fluttering his eyelashes at the barman who was uncomfortably asking what he’d like to drink.

“I’ll have a martini, please. You know, the character James bond also chooses this beverage. And I’m British as well. But the accent isn’t the only thing we share, I too enjoy the same past times as everyone’s favourite spy…” he mentioned, raising his eyebrows seductively.

The bar tender scoffed “What? Alcoholism and violence?” he scowled handing the drink over and walked off disgustedly. 

“Sex! I meant… sex.” Balthazar shouted, trailing off blushing in embarrassment whilst Kevin laughed his ass off.

Sam smirked to himself at the scene and strolled over to them, with Charlie matching his pace. They were both excited about sharing the news of Cas’ potential love interest, as he was never usually interested in anything but his many fictional pairings. So, this was a new and interesting bit of gossip to tell.

Balthazar managed to tear his eyes away from the bar staff and flashed them both a mischievous grin.

“Oh, look who it is! Little red and Big moose. Fully recovered from the alcohol then?”

Kevin snorted, then put on a high-pitched voice, “You’re goin’ downn Kev!” he mimicked earning a slap to his arm.

“Shut up…” she murmured, flushing slightly. “I misjudged myself slightly, that’s all. Anyway, carry on like that and you won’t get chance to hear the juicy goss’ about Cas.”

The two Boy’s ears perked up slightly.

“Goss’?”

“About Cassie?”

“Is this the same person we both know? Or is it someone else?”

“Don’t say it’s something stupid, like he left the apartment for longer than an hour?”

Sam sighed in amusement, before playing along with their little joke. “Not just any old goss’, romantic goss’!”

“Again, is this the same Cas, we all know?”

“Ooh la la, do tell!”

Charlie and Sam exchanged enthusiastic smiles and launched into the story, both certain that this would go down brilliantly.

~~~~~~~~~

“So, I believe that maybe the future will be controlled electronically with artificial intelligence, and all our information and data will be stored on tiny devices we carry with us.” 

Cas finished triumphantly, pleased that he had managed to explain his advanced theories. It was only then he realised that it had been at least 2 hours since his sneaky roommates had left and he’d gone on about 10 tangents in their conversation. His eyes widened slightly in surprise and focused his attention onto Dean, who was looking at Cas like he’d found the meaning of life.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking your ear of all night and you’ve barely said a word!” he laughed awkwardly.

Dean smile bashfully, “No it’s okay, I don’t mind. I like your random ideas”.

Cas squinted slightly at the odd comment and tilted his head to the left in confusion. Did this mean Dean thought he was strange? Was he annoyed with Castiel’s rambling? He was suddenly filled with a nervous feeling at the thought of Dean disliking him.

Instead Dean just looked down, avoiding eye contact as similar questions ran through his own mind. He didn’t want Cas to think he was the weird one. He quickly cleared his throat to move past this situation.  
“Shall we move to the sofa” he queried.

“Erm…yes! I’ve been awful company talking about myself. I’ll get us some coffee and you can talk about you.” He stood abruptly, piling up the plates and carried them to the sink.

Dean heard the sound of a kettle boiling and clattering coming from the next room. He smiled to himself as he settled onto the leather couch, he was happy about Cas being interested in him for some reason. No one usually took the time to get to know the real him. All they saw was a sarcastic trouble maker, but not Castiel, it seemed.

He was disturbed from his thoughts by Cas setting two mugs down on the coffee table and sat next to Dean, folding himself into the corner. Dean felt Cas’ feet gently brush his thigh and he shivered disguising it by shifting slightly.  
The same frown swept across Cas’ face for a second, before his expression relaxed and he smiled.

“Go on then, I want to hear about you.” He nodded, determined.

“Well my names Dean Winchester, I’m an Aquarius and I enjoy long walks on the beach.”

Cas smiled wider and playfully smacked deans shoulder, ”Be serious.”

He smirked and then sighed “There’s not much to say really. My mother died in a house fire when Sammy was a baby and I was 4. My Dad became a grieving mess, drownin’ himself in alcohol. I practically raised Sam myself but a family friend helped us out a lot, like a surrogate father. Then Sam went to college, Dad died of liver failure and now I work at the garage as a mechanic. And that’s it.”

Dean felt a hand rest gently on his shoulder and looked up to meet sympathetic blue eyes staring back at him.

“I’m sorry Dean”

“Nah. Its fine, I’ve accepted my shitty life and now I’m happy, and so is Sam so that’s all that matters.” He shrugged.

Sadness overwhelmed Cas and he swallowed. A strong feeling of protectiveness ran through him and he squeezed Dean’s shoulder tighter.

“Of course, and Sam is great guy and you seem to be too.”

“Seem?” he raised one eyebrow.

“Well, yeah I’ve only known you two days!” he laughed “any partners or girlfriends?” Cas found himself asking.

His reply was a humourless laugh. ”Unless you count numerous one-night stands, the answers no.”

Strangely, Cas was relieved by this and Dean continued. “I guess I’ve not found the right person. Someone who cares about me as a person, and is funny.”

The breath caught in Castiel’s throat.

“Someone who is really smart but also a bit clumsy, you know not completely perfect.”

Cas gasped, when he realised how close dean was to him.

“Um, yeah, I er I agree…” he trailed off as Dean pressed his lips against his own. He closed his eyes, his heart beating fast as he rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder. 

Taking this as acceptance to take it further, Dean threaded his hands through Cas’ dark hair tugging gently. But suddenly after no less than a second, he felt a hand firmly push him away. He opened his eyes confused and saw a conflicted look staring back at him.

“I’m sor-“ he began, but was interrupted by Cas scrambling to his feet.

“No, its me. I’m- I just- I think I’m going to go to bed, See you in the morning.” And then he disappeared down the corridor, the sound of a door slamming shut accompanied him.

Dean blinked, wondering what on earth had happened then. He thought Cas liked him. Had he read the situation wrong? Oh god, what if he’d taken advantage of Cas? He had looked so upset. Worrying thoughts clouded his judgement and he drank the rest of his coffee, bewildered.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cas slammed the door shut breathing heavily, and dived into bed hiding under the covers. He really liked Dean but all his past relationships had gone horribly wrong, what with April being a psycho and Meg a clingy mess. He couldn’t do something like that to Dean, and Sam would hate him forever. He sighed in distress and wiped at his eyes. How did he manage to screw everything up? 

He groaned and buried his head under the pillow and tried to forget what had happened. If Dean was still here in the morning, he would pretend nothing had gone on. If Dean had left, he would never have to see the blonde again. 

Strangely that thought didn’t put him at ease, it just made his heart sink even lower.


	7. Sam clears things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait but here's the next chapter. I really love Sam in this part, he's such a good friend and Dean is great too. There isn't much Cas though, Sorry! 
> 
> As always all mistakes are my own and I hope you enjoy.

For the second night in a row, a slightly tipsy Sam and completely drunk Charlie stumbled into the apartment at god knows what hour. Sam impatiently fumbled for the light switch, and plunged the dark room into light.

“Jesus, Sam!” Charlie complained, blinking rapidly to try and adjust her eyes to the light.

Sam huffed out a laugh and scanned the room. He scowled when he saw that the plates were all piled up in the kitchen, unwashed obviously.

“Typical Cas. Never does the dishes…” he mumbled grouchily under his breath, and continued skimming the area.

A frown crept onto his face when he noticed the absence of said lazy roommate and strangely his brother too. Sam’s mind immediately went to the image of dean and Cas doing unspeakable things, and he had to shake his head to rid himself of the mental picture (although he secretly hoped it was true. He really wanted that laptop and his ship to sail of course!) But then that wouldn’t add up as there were two coffee mugs on the table, one empty and the other half full. Something hadn’t gone to plan.

He was disrupted from his thoughts by a sharp elbow digging into his ribs. Sam looked down at Charlie to see her confused face staring back at him.

“Hey. What are you thinking?” she wondered.

Sam sighed. “Well, notice the disappearance of the topic of our conversation tonight?”

Charlie raised her eyebrows suggestively, a sly smile coming to her lips. “Ohhhh… I see.”

“No. Sadly not what you’re thinking. Look at the cups.”

“…Oh.” She realised, coming to the same conclusion as Sam.

They looked at each other for a moment, their facial expressions mirroring confusion and slightly worried. But then the sound of footsteps angrily coming along the corridor interrupted them. Emerging from the dimly lit hall, appeared Dean looking somewhat upset but mainly baffled, as if he couldn’t understand something.

Sam frowned, panic etching its way into his heart little by little. He knew that look. Something had gone on, and from the looks of it Charlie also recognized dean’s expression. He could read her body language pretty well, and it clearly said ‘you deal with this, I’m going to bed!’

“Whelp, I’m completely worn out! Night boys.”

Yep. Called it.

The two brothers watched her retreating form disappear deeper into the apartment, before vanishing from sight.

Sam turned to Dean and gave him a look, to which Dean groaned, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Please don’t start Sam, I’m not dealing with your chick-flick crap right now.”

“No Dean. If something has happened then I want to know. This is _my_ home, and Cas is _my_ friend. So, you’re gonna spill.” He finished unable to be swayed.

Dean sighed deeply, realizing he had been defeated by his smart-ass little brother. “Fine Sammy. Ask away. What has oh-wise-Samuel assumed from my apparently obvious body language?” He sarcastically questioned.

Sam looked unimpressed. “Actually, it was the mugs on the table. Only one was finished and knowing you and Cas, neither of you would leave coffee half empty. So, what happened?”

Dean collapsed onto the leather sofa, pulling his hands over his face. “I don’t know man. Cas was just going on about future robots or some shit and I couldn’t help but hang onto his every word. Ugh. I sound like such a sap…”

“I hate to break it to you but, you’ve always been a sap.” Sam quipped.

“Shut up, bitch!” Dean glared. “Anyway, we started to talk about ourselves, getting to know each other ya know. Then I just- I mean, well, I- justwentforitandkissedhim.” He rushed out.

Sam’s heart soared. This was what he’d been dreaming of. He knew there was a ‘but’ coming, so just let him have this moment, godamnit!

“Get that look off your face. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you and Charlie! I know you’ve been boat pairing Cas and I.” he snarled.

Okay. Maybe dean wasn’t as dense as Sam thought. But _boat pairing_? He cringed visibly shivering. Sam smiled sheepishly, shrugging slightly.

Dean shifted in his seat before continuing. “So, yeah. I went in for the kill and Cas seemed to feel the same. But then he pulled away, going on about how it’s all him and then he left. So now I don’t know where I stand.”

For god’s sake, Cas. Sam silently cursed every female on the planet who had messed with Castiel’s heart. Now he understood. It was the whole problem of feeling undeserving of affection, when really Cas deserved the world.

Immediately his best friend instincts kicked in. Sighing, he turned to his older brother, and began to explain his best friend’s past and all his self-esteem issues that came with it.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So now, he doesn’t think that anyone could really reciprocate as strong feelings about him as he feels for others. Cas just needs someone to show him he deserves to be cared about too, and that his emotions aren’t just there to be stomped all over.” Sam finished, breathing heavily.

He felt so protective of Cas after everything he’d been through. Dean could be good for him, if he’d just give him the chance to try.

Dean nodded slowly. About a hundred emotions were running through him. On one hand he felt absolutely livid with that April, who’d just pretended to care only to use Cas as a quick fuck and then abandoned him immediately after. But even more so with Meg. He couldn’t believe how that Bitch had lured him in with the pretence of a healthy relationship, only to chip away at his confidence with insults, lies and emotional abuse.

He also felt incredibly sad. In his eyes, Cas was perfect because he wasn’t. The intensity of happiness he felt when he looked at Cas was indescribable. The fact that Castiel didn’t realise how special he was upset him greatly. Hell, Dean had only known the brunet for two days and he was already besotted.

He also shared a fierce feeling of protectiveness towards Cas with Sam. His brother clearly loved his roommate and wanted what was best for him. He was pretty sure that Sam would quite happily bundle Cas away from the population and keep him safe in the apartment with him for all eternity. It was slightly weird, but Dean felt exactly the same. Cas really did deserve the world.

Sam’s voice broke him out of his intense Cas related thoughts. “That’s probably why he acted that way.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah…” an idea popped into his head. “Sam?”

“Dean?” he smartly replied.

Rolling his eyes, Dean shared his light bulb moment. “Do you think that I could some how raise his confidence a bit. You know by complimenting him a lot or something?”

Sam smiled. These two would be the death of him. “Maybe not complimenting, he’d get all awkward and shy. It just wouldn’t work.” Dean’s face fell. “But, you should just carry on like you have been doing. Show him you care and want to know him for himself and not just for ulterior motives. Honestly, I’ve never seen Cas act that way before around anyone, so that would definitely do the trick.”

Hmm. For once Sam was showing his big college brain. Dean grinned and slapped Sam on the back. “Sammy, for once you’re completely right. If Cas wants a Romeo, then a Romeo he shall get!”

Sam shook his head in amusement and left his idiot of a brother in the living room to come up with a plan. He thought he’d better check on Cas before he turned in for the night, and quietly cracked open the door.

The sounds of soft breathing filled the room, meaning that his roommate was definitely asleep. Sam crept over to the bed, eyes scanning the small bedroom. Cas was sound asleep, completely submerged in the duvet. Fondness took over Sam’s emotions as he looked down at his best friend. He had earned some type of happiness a million times over.

The glow of a laptop caught his eye. It must have fallen off the bed when Cas fell asleep. Sam picked it up, meaning to turn the device off. Instead an opened word document caught his attention. Another fanfiction. He shook his head and read the text written.

_Sherlock blinked the tears out of his eyes, looking out of the window, pointedly avoiding eye contact with John._

_“I never loved you. You were merely a distraction.”_

_John frowned, his heart contracted with pain from the words that the love of his life was saying to him. John knew he was worthless, undeserving of any affection from this genius of a ma-_

Sam snapped the laptop shut. Christ, Cas was dramatic. But he also felt his own heart twisting with the knowledge of why Cas felt this way. He reached out, brushing some stray hair out of Castiel’s eyes.

Tomorrow would be different. Sam knew Dean would make sure of that.


	8. Balthazar has some wise words to share

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite a bit longer than usual, and I've been working on it for two weeks. So it's safe to say I am pretty happy with it, and I hope you guys enjoy it! I apologise for the angst in this part but it resolves itself quickly.
> 
> As always all mistakes and plotline are my own.

At the start of the week, Castiel had noticed that someone seemed to be trying extra hard to get his attention and please him. Whether it was little things, like having a cup of coffee already waiting outside his bedroom door, in his favourite mug (shaped like the TARDIS obviously.) or if he had forgot to charge his laptop, it had been conveniently plugged into charge when he got back from working at the museum. Also, Cas seemed to be finding post-it notes stuck around his room with motivational comments written on them in large cursive handwriting. It cheered him up immensely, and now he walked around with a small smile on his lips instead of having his forehead creased with frown lines constantly.

Whilst being appreciative of these small acts, it confused him as to who was doing it. Secretly, Cas hoped it was Dean behind all these things, but that was highly unlikely. Although strangely, Dean had stuck around after their encounter. Well, awkward, cringe worthy, encounter. He hadn’t mentioned it and Cas certainly wasn’t going too, so it seemed as if there was a silent agreement to never speak of it again. And that suited Castiel fine.

The only other option was that Cas had some creepy stalker, that broke into the apartment just to make him coffee and look through all his stuff and- NOPE! Let’s not go there… he’d rather just fantasize about a certain green-eyed person caring about him that much. But, hey, a guy can dream. Actually now thinking about it, Sam and Charlie had been oddly patient with him and always had a strange hopeful look in their eyes whenever the other two occupants of their home interacted, albeit slightly uncomfortably on Cas’ side. He always caught the two of them whispering about something, but whenever they caught sight of Cas their eyes would widen and Sam would loudly blab on about some Law crap. Such a subtle moose.

And currently, while Cas was sat at the kitchen table -drinking said mystery coffee and absent mindedly flicking through a newspaper- his ears picked up the sound of voices coming down the corridor, gradually increasing in volume as they got closer.

“I don’t know what else to do! Obviously he hasn’t noticed and- ugh!” the voice finished off in frustration.

Okay so that was Dean. Who was he talking about? Cas’ interest was piqued. In the conversation, not the fact that it was Dean, okay?!

“Don’t give in just yet. It’ll take time, you knew this. And I happen to think it is working.” Charlie’s voice chimed in.

“But he-“

“Ah ah ah, let me finish. He’s much happier now and you can tell through his body lang-“

The two of them entered through the door, pausing as they caught sight of Castiel. Naturally, Cas pretended to be absorbed in the news article in front of him.

Charlie immediately recovered and a wide grin broke onto her face. “Morning Cas! Sleep well? You’re up early for once!”

Cas narrowed his eyes in suspicion but decided play along. “Morning guys, and yes, my alarm went off early and I had some stuff to do, so here I am.”

Dean chuckled slightly, and raised one eyebrow, “Important stuff, huh?”

“I believe that is what I said Dean” Cas shot back huffily, “This article is very interesting and I couldn’t put it down…” he finished lamely.

Sitting down opposite him, Dean pulled the paper towards him eyes skimming the headline. “Horny ghosts haunt house.” He read.

Charlie burst out laughing and Dean soon joined in, their uncontrollable laughter filled the room.

Cas shifted awkwardly and turned his face away, avoiding eye contact. God dammnit! “Yeah, well, it was fascinating.” Good save Cas! He thought sarcastically.

“Oh, I - I’m su- sure.” Charlie managed to stutter out before dissolving into laughter yet again.

Cas rolled his eyes but he allowed a small smile of amusement to grace his features. It was pretty funny.

He turned back only to meet Dean’s gaze, and the breath caught in his throat. Dean’s face was crinkled with laugh lines and his eyes lit up with humour. Cas sighed slightly, why did he have to laugh beautifully as well?! God was definitely punishing him. He opened his mouth to comment, but was interrupted by footsteps thundering along the corridor and a jumble of words being shouted at a high volume.

“Dean! Dean! No one said to be all secretive, and I have the prefect idea for you about Ca- Oh, erm hey Cas…” Sam stopped short.

Cas rolled his eyes. This was the second time someone had stopped their sentence when the caught sight of him. It was starting to get tiring and also slightly annoying, and from the looks of it Sam was about to launch into some elaborate and undoubtedly fake excuse.

“Erm as I was saying Dean, I have an idea about Cars. You know at the garage and you could repair them all in a secret way.”

Called it.

He heard a loud sigh come from Charlie as she leaned forward and placed a hand over her face. Sam just shifted nervously still awkwardly hovering in the doorway, clearly aware of his bad cover-up. Cas glanced over at Dean who was glaring at his brother and had a flicker of worry in his eyes. He was clearly missing something, and now all three would probably act as suspiciously as they had been all this week. Something in him snapped. Cas had had enough.

“I’ve had enough!” he announced, Blue eyes flashing with anger and irritation. He stood up abruptly and grabbed his coat from the peg on the wall, violently swinging it onto his shoulders. “I’m going out and I’ll be back when you lot have sorted out whatever this is that I’m not involved in!”

Charlie reached out to grab onto his arm, “Cas, just wait a second.”

Cas took a shuttering breath, and blinked the frustrated tears out of his eyes. His face felt very hot all of a sudden, and he could feel blood rushing to his cheeks. He didn’t even know why he was getting upset about this, it wasn’t even that big of a deal. But to him it seemed like one. He took a step closer towards the door, suddenly unsteady on his feet. His eyes were blurred with unshed tears of frustration, and he defiantly refused to let them fall.

“No, I’ll be back later. You- I- I just need some space for a while…” he trailed off, voice breaking.

He scanned the room shakily and looked for his satchel containing his wallet, laptop and charging cable. His heart sunk when he saw Sam holding it, he must have grabbed it when he realised that Cas was going to leave. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again.

“Sam… give me my bag.”

Instead of doing what he asked Sam just looked down at him with concern. Cas defiantly stared back. He brought a hand up to brush a stray tear off his cheek, but didn’t break eye contact.

“Please, Sam.” He whispered.

Sam’s hold loosened slightly, but enough for Cas to dislodge it from his large hands. He slung it onto his right shoulder and rushed out the door.

He thought he heard Dean calling after him, insisting him to wait, come back. Hopeful thinking, huh? As if. He finally gave in allowing tears to roll freely down his cheeks, vision blurring, heart pounding rapidly as tremors took over his body. Flinging open the door to exit the apartment block, he took off towards the city centre, knowing exactly where to go next.

Back inside the apartment, a pissed off Charlie glared at Sam. “Well done. Why didn’t you wait to see if it was safe before saying anything? Now you’ve upset him and made everything worse?!” She shook her head, disappointed.

Sam’s shoulders slumped and he looked down at his feet. He should have thought things through. He hated seeing Cas all worked up, and knowing that he had caused this made the guilt ten times worse.

He turned his attention over to Dean, who was focused on the door Cas had just left through. His brow was creased with conflicting emotions, and he looked about ready to race after Castiel or throttle his brother. Said brother, didn’t think either would be wise (in his or Cas’ case.)

Sam exhaled deeply, annoyed at the upset he’s caused.

~~~~~~~~~~

Balthazar was relaxing in his apartment, reading a magazine about the titanic film and a review praising the theme song. If he was honest, he didn’t really see the hype about it. All it did was remind him of that horrendous date he had had at cinema to watch said devil film, and now he loathed anything to do with that boat, with all his being.

_**Bzzzzzz** _

He looked up at the sound of the door buzzer going off. He glanced at the time in confusion. Kevin had literally just gone out. He wondered if he had forgotten the keys, (wouldn’t be the first time) but no, they were not hanging on the usual peg. He wasn’t expecting anyone, so literally any old person could be wanting to get hold of him

_**Bzzzzzz** _

It must be urgent, he thought, worry gently taking centre stage in his mind. Quickly throwing the magazine aside, he leapt up holding the receiver to his ear.

“Hello?” he spoke cautiously.

There was a hesitation before a familiar voice replied slightly shakily. “…Hey. Its Cas.”

Balthazar’s worry increased rapidly at the waver in his voice. He quickly came to the conclusion that all was not well.

“Yeah sure, Cassy. Come right up” he pressed the button opening the apartment block door.

A few seconds later Cas appeared at the door. Balthazar inhaled sharply. Cas was trembling very slightly and his eyes were glistening brightly with sadness.

“Hi…” he whispered brokenly and that was all it took for Balthazar to smile sympathetically and hold open his arms invitingly.

Castiel fell into his arms burying his head into the soft muscle of his shoulder, he could feel shuddering sobs erupt from Cas. He stroked the tousled brown waves slowly, whispering reassurances to him softly.

Balthazar and Cas had known each other for many years. They were childhood friends and had practically grown up together. Cas was one year below him throughout school and then they had moved to this town together too. Balthazar considered Cas as his little brother and always felt fiercely protective of the younger man.

He knew from experience that Cas had probably felt overwhelmed for a while and that it took only one seemingly small event to let all of his built up feelings to escape in an angry-tearful mess. He just needed someone to vent to and talk through all of his shit and that person was always Balthazar.

He released Cas smoothly and led him over to the sofa, smiling softly at him and handing him some tissues silently.

Cas sniffled slightly, wiping at the dried tears on his cheeks, and gave a watery smile in return. He took a deep breath to calm down, grateful that Balthazar hadn’t fired a load of questions at him, but then again he never did.

“Now, what was all that about? I normally don’t allow human waterfalls into my home for no reason.” He joked.

Cas let out a small laugh and launched into a detailed account from meeting Dean, to the awkward encounter, to the weird gifts and finally the secretive behaviour of his roommates that had tipped him over the edge. He felt as if a weight had been lifted as all the feelings he had bottled up over the past week were shared.

Balthazar had patiently listened throughout and was relieved that Cas had shared all of this with him.

“Well it seems to me that everything had stemmed from you being too anxious to let someone new into your life. You need to trust more and I think opening your heart up to a new person could help.” He advised. “You can’t let you past affect who you are and your choices in the present or you’ll never move on.”

Cas blinked. Had Balthazar always been that wise?

“Do you really think that would help?”

Balthazar smiled knowingly. “I know it will. You forget, Cassy. I know you better than you know yourself!”

Cas laughed properly this time, and immediately hugged his brother again.

“Thanks Balthy.”

“You’re welcome.”


	9. Kevin witnesses a number of events which put him through emotional strain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I m really sorry about not updating recently, as I've been busy with my A level exams and also work. But now I've got all of August to update more regularly. I hope this chapter is worth the wait and doesn't put you all through (too much) emotional strain either!  
> As always I dont own any of the characters but all plotlines and mistakes are my own.

It was probably only three hours since Cas’s sudden departure from the apartment, and he had planned to completely reveal all of his feelings over the past week to Dean and they would both skip off happily together into the sunset. Of course, this was real life and what had actually happened was that Dean had gone to work, Charlie had gone to work and Sam was worriedly sitting on the couch, complete with puppy eyes and serious expression.

Cas looked over at Sam who seemingly was lost in thought and couldn’t resist causing a little havoc. After all, Sam probably deserved a little payback considering the major fuck up he had caused earlier.

He closed the front door as silently as possible and crept carefully up the step into the kitchen. Throwing one last look over his shoulder to make sure Sam was still zoned out in his own world, he reached up pressing the test button on the bottom of the smoke alarm.

Ear piercing beeps filled the apartment and Sam let out a high-pitched scream and jumped about 5 feet off the couch.

He slid to the floor by the sofa, clutching his heart and breathing deeply.

Sam looked around wildly, his mouth stretched open into a shocked expression, and he glared over at the kitchen where the sound of intense laughter was coming from. Despite himself Sam smiled, got up from the floor and peered over the counter, only to be met with the site of his best-friend seated in a similar position to how he was seconds ago, but crying with laughter instead.

Sam placed his hands on his hips, feigning annoyance. “First of all, rude. Second of all I’m glad you’re feeling better. And thirdly, you’re a bitch Cas!”

“You love me!” Cas manged to gasp out, laughing even harder, “you’re the bitch actually Sam and you owe me.”

Sam’s expression faltered slightly, but with just one look at Castiel he knew that there were no hard feelings between them.

Walking around into the kitchen, Sam offered a hand to the still seated Cas and pulled him to his feet. He smiled warmly and opened his mouth to apologize for earlier, but Cas beat him to it.

“I know what you’re going to say Sam, and it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I messed up Cas and you were upset and that’s not okay,” Sam replied shaking his head slightly at himself.

Cas frowned. “You were only trying to help Dean, and it’s me who has been stupid.”

Sam looked up in confusion. “What?”

“I know your plan Sam. You and Charlie. Where did you think I’ve been this whole time?”

“Balthazar! Oh…” he realised.

Cas grinned. “I know what you’ve been up to, and I get it. if I hadn’t been so stubborn then things might have been different. You were just trying to help.” He repeated.

“It’s not too late Cas, y’know. He’s just gone to work and that’s barely 10 minutes away.”

“I know. I’ve already decided what to do anyway.”

Sam patted Cas on the shoulder comfortingly and pulled him into a hug. “good, and I’m not sorry. Me and Charlie were just doing god’s work. Ow!” he exclaimed as Cas slapped the back of his head.

“Shut up!”

“I’m still not sorry.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“What the actual fuck, Balthazar?” an angry shout echoed throughout the small two-bedroom apartment and rapid angry footsteps thundered up the stairs.

The door burst open and a furious yet baffled Kevin lay eyes on his target. “why the fuck would you do that, and don’t even start to deny it!”

Balthazar just let out a short laugh and had the nerve to just smile and hold up numerous empty cans of shaving cream.

“I can’t believe you! I’m gonna have to have all of the seats in my car dry cleaned and the controls checked for damage.” Kevin groaned loudly. ”Now I need to go to the garage to sort this out and I don’t even have any money left. I spent my last pay check on college text books.”

Even after his rant, Balthazar still just grinned evilly.

Shaking his head and muttering a string of poorly thought out curses, Kevin spun on his heels and headed back toward the door grabbing his wallet. “Can I just ask why, if that isn’t too much trouble, you absolute dick?” he inquired.

“Cas came round upset and I had no choice but to be the kind compassionate brother we all know I am, to comfort the poor boy. Ugh. Way too much niceness for me, and you Kev, were the unfortunate recipient of my mischief to restore order.”

Kevin sighed, slamming the door. Someone remind him why he shared a living space with that arrogant bitch. Oh, that’s right, college debts and just being overall poor. Fuck his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whilst all of this was going on, Dean Winchester was lying almost completely underneath a beautiful, 1964 black Chevy Silverado truck. After the whole drama with Cas, Dean had thought it best to take a step back and give him a little space. And what better way to block out all of his problems, than working on classic cars at the garage.

Dean sighed, and carefully brought a hand up to his cheek to wipe a smear of oil away. Who was he kidding? He’d love nothing more than to be back at that apartment making it up to Cas and spending time with the man who had stolen his heart. He snorted quietly to himself. Ha. More like tripped over a kitchen step into his heart.

Before he could change his thoughts from Cas, back to the truck, he was suddenly being violently dragged out from under the vehicle. He let out an embarrassingly high-pitched scream and clutched the edges of the creeper tightly.

“Boy, don’t go crying like a baby. It’s only me, you idgit.”

Dean stared up sheepishly into the eyes of his surrogate father, and currently very pissed off boss. “What was I supposed to do Bobby? You can’t just yank me from under the truck like that. You’ll kill me before my time!”

Bobby gave him an unimpressed look. “Never mind you. It will be me dead from a stress induced heart attack, what with you and you’re brother drivin’ me mad.”

Dean rolled his eyes and ungracefully climbed to his feet. A hand slapped him about the back of his head.

“Ow! What was that for?” He reached up rubbing a hand through his hair.

“You want to tell me why there’s a pretty boy with blue eyes askin’ for ya?”

Deans heart skipped a beat, “Cas is here?”

“So you do know ‘im then? Good. ‘cause I didn’t want to be chasin’ away another stray who you’d reeled in.”

“Geez, Bobby you make me sound like some sex obsessed fisherman.” He tried to joke, but instead was distracted by the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

Bobby sighed, muttering “idgit” under his breath. “Go on then, take yer break I know you want to.”

Wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his overalls, Dean tried not to literally leap out of the garage to the parking lot where Cas was waiting.

He nervously walked up to where Castiel was standing and smiled at the man shyly.

“Hello Dean”

“Hey Cas, I’m really sorry about before, I was just trying to get your attention because I really like you and-“ he stopped abruptly realising what he’d blurted out.

But instead of being met with a confused look, he was surprised to see Cas smiling back at him.

“I know Dean. In truth, it was me who overreacted and I appreciate what you have been doing. I um, actually thought it was very um, sweet.” He cleared his voice and shifted slightly. “I assume Sam had told you about my failure of a love life and if you’d let me I’d like you to be part of that failure.”

Cas stiffened having realised what he had said. He ran a hand through his hair messing it up further and a soft flush flooded his cheeks. “What I meant was that erm, that I’d want you to be with me in a non-failing relationship…” he trailed off.

Dean sweared he had never seen a more beautiful sight than the man in front of him stuttering his way through a confession.

He took a step closer to Cas and lifted a hand to Cas’ face. He traced his hand over the stubble on Cas’ sharp jawline and looked down at him. Castiel’s eyes were soft and looking at dean in a way he had only ever dreamed of being looked at like. He smiled softly and leaned in closing the space between the two men. Their lips met and dean moved his hand to the back of Cas’ neck deepening the kiss. Cas’ own hand traced Deans jaw and settled on the side of his neck. Warmth flooded through Deans heart and he brought his other hand to pull Cas closer by the small of his back. There was no desperation in the kiss, just pure longing. He felt safe.

Dean pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against Cas’ and closed his eyes in a state of bliss. He could feel Cas breathing healthily against his chest and stroked his face lovingly.

**_Click_ **

They pulled apart, the moment disturbed by Kevin standing next to them, slowly lowering a camera.

“Honestly guys, it was Sam and Charlie. They would kill me if they knew I’d seen this and not brought back evidence to them.” He held his hands up in surrender.

Cas let out a short huff of laughter and laced his hand with Deans. “What are you even doing here Kev?"

Kevin Jumped slightly. “Oh yes! My Car! I need it to be checked over, Balthazar filled it with shaving cream, a long story not worth mentioning.”

Dean nodded, a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to spend a bit longer with Cas. “I guess I can take a look at it for you. Just drive it through and I should only take 15 minutes or so depending on the damage.”

Cas smiled at Dean and kissed his cheek gently. “We’ll continue this later. Be at mine around 8.”

He winked at Dean and headed over towards the road.

Dean couldn’t help himself but look wistfully after him. He heard Kevin snort and turned his gaze onto the boy instead.

Kevin shrugged. “what can I say man? You’ve got it bad. I’ve never seen you look so soft.”

A loud deafening screech of tyres broke the conversation, and the two of them sharply turned to see a sports car speeding away down the road.

Time seemed to slow as Dean looked to see a couple of people running over to the middle of the street and kneeling beside something. His eyes fell upon a familiar satchel laying haphazardly on the gravel. A smooth skinned fist held onto the strap and Dean recognised the familiar curve of the muscles on the arm attached. A pool of blood was oozing out from a deep cut among dark raven hair, that was matted with the same blood. The face was pale, and the crystal blue eyes he had grown to love were closed and crinkled with pain.

The breath was stolen from his lungs and he could only whisper one name brokenly.

“Cas…”


End file.
